Friday, May 31, 2013

Head In The Sand

Ostriches don't actually hide their head in the sand when scared, But just go with me on this.

OK, here’s the honest truth about why I stopped blogging:  I’ve had my head in the sand for awhile. 

It is not without good reason. This has been a challenging year for me and for our family. Challenging in a good way, not bad - but challenging just the same. I am navigating my way through ministry, family and (for the last year and a half) being a foster mom. And I love it. But it has been the most risky, heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, wonderfully beautiful thing I have yet to go through so far in this life.  I have quite a few more gray hairs because of it and I am proud of them (while simultaneously covering them with a few more minutes of hair dye).

I could stop there. That’s an honorable reason to be incommunicado. There is a season for everything, and a different calling for everyone. And given the option, I’d much rather be too busy with life to blog about it, than the other way around.  But for me, I’m not being totally honest if I stopped there. Because God has challenged me as a leader to communicate what He’s putting me through!  And with 18 years of ministry behind me, I can say that He pressed that desire into me long before I ever thought of being a foster mom.

But that calling has been almost as scary and overwhelming to me as being a foster mom.  And I couldn’t face TWO scary things at the same time on my own strength! So I stuck my head in the sand and hid for a little while – for the same reasons that scared little ostrich does – it comforts me, appeases me, helps me cope.  But those scary things that dare to threaten my comfort, are still out there.  And this little ostrich is doing herself no favors hiding from them.

So I’m coming up out of the sand and trusting God with more.  God is teaching me on a daily basis how to live beyond my own little self, how to rely on Him, and how to tell others His Story at the end of the day.  So join me won’t you, on this risky, heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, wonderfully beautiful journey.  It won’t always be about hard stuff, it will be about good stuff too.  It won’t always be serious, it will be fun and even trivial too.  But I hope it will always be about the story God is writing in my life.

I hope it will encourage you in your own story with God too.

“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story” ~ Psalm 107:2

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